And so the story came to an end...

...or just began. Meet Dr Khalil. I've been working for two weeks now as a doctor. I don't know what to tell you. Well, there's one question you all have in mind and I can tell you the answer immediately. No, I haven't killed any patient. Yet. :P

I was so scared to begin. But someone dear to me reminded me that there's a first time to everything. So even to working as a doctor. I changed my mind and went to work afterall, even though I could feel my pulse in my throat, I was cold-sweating, hadn't slept the whole night. Even my stomach was telling me how wrong it all felt. But then you are thrown into work and you forget that you thought you were gonna die. And then the great feeling hits you. You are finally there doing what you love doing most!

Although it didn't change as quickly as that. There were two or three days when I felt like I was the worst doctor ever. The chief of doctors happened to be the doctor where I worked. From the way he treated me and demanded of me I felt that there's a level I should be at and that I couldn't reach. But then one day he suddenly tells me that I have impressed him very much with my work, that I learn quickly and that I am brave and so on...

I was so happy my eyes teared in front of him. Which is very embarrassing. But I had never had a lower self-confidence before, and suddenly he tells me my work is perfect! At that moment I hated him!

But I must tell you my work is not entirely perfect. And since I promised Linda to share the downs of my journey, here they come:

- I didn't dare to give the daily dosage of Warfarin to a patient that had just gonna trough heart surgery cause she had taken out the lung-drainage the same day and I was afraid she would bleed from all her wounds. Next day her PK-test said 1,2. Ouch! :P

- I was gonna send home a STEMI-patient (heart infarction) without any follow-up. I thought it was handled by the secretaries. Apparently not. Oops again!

- I sent home two old men with the same name and exchanged their medicines and prescriptions. It was a lot of calling around to get the right drugs to the right pharmacy! :P

I'll tell you more later. Now I have to get ready for England - Germany. Since Italy was out, I now have one favourite left and that is Germany!

On centuries...

I wish I had been born 150 years ago. I think I would have been a lot happier. I would spend my days trying out different dresses and beautiful hats. I would attend one ball after another and be courted by handsome young gentlemen.

But mostly I would spend my time writing revolutionary novels about liberated women and removal of social classes - of course under false male pseudonyms. I would fight for women's rights to education, heritage, voting etc.

I would think I could save the world. I would speak freely of my opinions at social gatherings and with old fashioned men - just to provoke. People would see me as too liberal - and that would just bring joy to my soul. I would join underground political movements.

And what is most appealing to me is that trying to save the world wouldn't be something to criticize someone for. Nor would people in general accuse you of having opinions as if you are hurting the world by having something to say.

I don't know. Many times I really wish I hadn't been born in this era. Most of the time I feel misplaced, and many other times I feel like I won't be able to live long in this world. I don't understand, and it keeps on surprising me. Mostly, I'm not very content with it's surprises.

Nevertheless, I still feel joy in my heart days like yesterday and the days before. Yesterday I spent the whole day sitting in the sun in the company of nice friends, a good book and... ya, SUN! Moreover, last tuesday I went to Stockholm with my beautiful ladies A and L, we went wild on the shopping, the restaurant-visit and we laughed a few abs on Magnus Betnérs comedy show. I love!

Picture above: Vivien Leigh as Anna Karenina. Can you see me like that? A woman of the 19th century?

On the other hand…

This goes to those two guys that actually hit the dude… Thank you! Thank you very much for making sure that this moron gets more publicity. That his repulsive and loathsome art is now spread. Thank you for making sure that some B-so called artist now can spread gayporno of hairy dudes whom this idiot wants to link to our holy, beloved prophet.

Furthermore, I also want to thank you for attending the lecture from the very first beginning. Thank you so much for being there and helping the attendance rate to reach 250. I want to thank every one else who went, for that matter. I wanna thank you, even if you were only there to discuss and debate. Why? Does he deserve to be spoken to? Does he deserve to be recognized at all?  Do we even need his approval, as Muslims?

Now this idiot will publish worse things of our prophet. Who knows, maybe next will be our children, women, God… Such ignorant people have no limits. All they care about is publicity. So, thank you very much for helping him. If you really love your prophet don’t give these ignorant bastards the chance to humiliate him, to get to you. Can’t you see? They don’t care about Mohammen pbuh! They don’t care about Allah. Nor about Islam! All they want is a reason for your fury. Because we are easy to kick. We are already lying down. And since the Jews are not available anymore, and Russians don’t make up as big of a threat, Muslims are the easiest target. Thank you for making us an easier target. Thank you for helping everyone else kick and spit on us.

No, really thank you.

WHY CAN’T PEOPLE THINK!!!

On that asshole…

I refuse to type in his name, cause I refuse to give him more publicity. But it's the Swedish so called artist that drew the Mohammed-caricatures.

What I understand from the debate, that is going on in Sweden at the moment, is that he should have the right to carry on with his so called art and provocation, and if it was only about that then I will personally be the general of that army defending his rights. But, as I have understood from the debate and the supporters of this person, is that not only has he the right to provoke, but we should also applaud him for his art. We should all demand more of such provocative art.

So, basically, he is doing the Muslims a favour. The logic of the pro-artist cluster is that when he provokes the Muslim world, he not only forces them to think, but it's also necessary for the Muslims to learn not to feel humiliated by others' freedom of speech. I also read that many feel that more people need to humiliate the Muslim world, so that the Muslim world learns to "chill". So what this so called artist and the defenders of his so called art are saying, is that this looser is giving Muslims a course in anger management. 'Cause of course, the logic is simple. When you humiliate the most sacred thing in a persons life over and over and over again, he will calm down, start listening to you, learning from you and take on your culture, ideas and thoughts. Very logical.

Well, in that case I will start on a new painting of this artist screwing a dog. And if anyone, by any chance feels humiliated, I don't want your comments or death threats. Instead I ask you to come again in a few weeks, maybe then I have finished my next painting of homosexuals burning in hell. That these drawings are beside the point, lack any substance worth caring about and only are meant to point out already exposed categories in society and humiliate them, are just trivial facts.

All I'm trying to say is that if you want a debate with someone, or want someone to learn something from you then respect them first. If you wanna point out to a Muslim that his religion is wrong on many levels, by all means. Feel free to do that any time. Just don't draw a caricature of this Muslims sacred prophet and humiliate that Muslim and then pose with a sad face for Swedish tabloid magazines holding an ax - to then force this Muslim to not feel humiliated of what you have done. I believe communication is the key to all progress. But communication on the same condition for everyone involved - and respect is the foundation on which all communication shall rise. And yes, I know what respect is. Even though I stone women in my backyard, I want to enforce sharia laws in Sweden and I burn homosexuals for fun in my bathroom - becuase I'm a muslim.

All I'm saying is: Stop this cowardice. If you want to create a dialogue with someone do it with respect, say what you have to say and give the other side a chance. Regardless of who you are addressing.

Note! I appologize to anyone who got offended by this post. I have nothing against homosexuals, animals, Muslims, Swedes or whoever else I might have offended. Neither do I support any death threats against any artist of any kind. I hope you realize the aim of this article. And if you still feel offended, see it as exercise in anger management. ;P

On positivity…

According to A we should become more zone 3 (some Doris Lessing thing), i.e. happy, smiling, goodwilling people. I feel I’m all zone 3, except when I’m surrounded all the time with people from zone 4 (bad people from a bad place).

Like yesterday at a coffee shop while listening to A explain what she is reading right now and how we should try harder, a group of pubertal young guys spent the whole time we were sitting there blowing into their coke bottles, shouting or singing loudly, all in one voice. It took all my energy to not get up, take a random chair and smash it over the head of one of them.

I don’t mean to sound like an old, nagging lady… BUT TODAYS’ generations are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo RUDE!!! I would never have dreamed of doing anything that irritating in public, when I was their age! Never! So, I am all zone 3 and zen and harmony… Unfortunately, I live in a zone 4, though. Add self-diagnosed adult ADHD to that and you realize I will die in a heart-attack  by the end of next year.

I’m trying to be all this…

But everyone I seem to meet are just…