I was so scared to begin. But someone dear to me reminded me that there's a first time to everything. So even to working as a doctor. I changed my mind and went to work afterall, even though I could feel my pulse in my throat, I was cold-sweating, hadn't slept the whole night. Even my stomach was telling me how wrong it all felt. But then you are thrown into work and you forget that you thought you were gonna die. And then the great feeling hits you. You are finally there doing what you love doing most!
Although it didn't change as quickly as that. There were two or three days when I felt like I was the worst doctor ever. The chief of doctors happened to be the doctor where I worked. From the way he treated me and demanded of me I felt that there's a level I should be at and that I couldn't reach. But then one day he suddenly tells me that I have impressed him very much with my work, that I learn quickly and that I am brave and so on...
I was so happy my eyes teared in front of him. Which is very embarrassing. But I had never had a lower self-confidence before, and suddenly he tells me my work is perfect! At that moment I hated him!
But I must tell you my work is not entirely perfect. And since I promised Linda to share the downs of my journey, here they come:
- I didn't dare to give the daily dosage of Warfarin to a patient that had just gonna trough heart surgery cause she had taken out the lung-drainage the same day and I was afraid she would bleed from all her wounds. Next day her PK-test said 1,2. Ouch! :P
- I was gonna send home a STEMI-patient (heart infarction) without any follow-up. I thought it was handled by the secretaries. Apparently not. Oops again!
- I sent home two old men with the same name and exchanged their medicines and prescriptions. It was a lot of calling around to get the right drugs to the right pharmacy! :P
I'll tell you more later. Now I have to get ready for England - Germany. Since Italy was out, I now have one favourite left and that is Germany!
